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Friday, January 04, 2008

Raining Iguanas

This story is a little weird. It also reminds me of Edmund, who was my pet iguana when I was in my twenties. Edmund was an interesting pet for a while. He ate salad, which was easy, and was especially attracted to brightly colored foods, such as cut up mango and acorn squash. I let him walk around my apartment when I was home, and he would sometimes try to eat my chalk pastels, which I guess to him looked like food.

One day, while Edmund was exploring my apartment, he climbed behind the refrigerator. I tried to coax him out, but he was skittish and wouldn't come to me. I let him stay there for a bit, but then I heard a frantic rustling, and realized that he had climbed into the wires. Fearing he would be electrocuted, I tried moving the refrigerator to save him. I didn't save him. Instead I crushed him, like a bug.

I knew Edmund was dead, but I still couldn't reach him behind the refrigerator, so I used a yard stick to fish him out. And because he was cold blooded, rigamortis set in almost immediately. He was too big to flush, and it was winter, so I couldn't bury him. I ended up throwing him out with the trash.

At work the next day, I told my boss Marie what had happened to Edmund. She responded flatly, "Maybe next time you should get a turtle."

So that is the true story of Edmund, my pet iguana. I don't think I'll illustrate this one, but maybe I'll use him as a character sometime in a less tragic story.

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